Transcript

Welcome to Her Career Studio, the podcast designed to help women thrive at work so that they can thrive in life. Hello, my name is Lisa Virtue. I'm your international career coach and podcast host. Don't forget to hit subscribe and please leave a five-star review if you find the content helpful. Subscribers and reviews are how small, women-owned businesses like Her Career Studio are able to bring you supportive content for free. Thank you so much for your support! Visit hercareerstudio.com for free resources and a guide for this week's episode Imposter Syndrome check it out at hercareerstudio.com/imposter syndrome. Let's dive into this week's episode. Today, I'd like to talk about that nagging feeling of imposter syndrome. You know what I mean? When you go into a boardroom or a meeting and you feel like you don't deserve to be there, or it must have just been good luck that you got this job or this opportunity. Your brain is giving you doubt that you belong in the room, or that you belong in the position. You haven't done this work before, so how can you possibly do a good job of it? Deep down, there's this feeling of inadequacy. So let's explore that.

Where does imposter syndrome come from? Where is that self-doubt? Inadequacy? Fear of being exposed as a fraud despite evidence of success? Where is that stemming from the first step to overcoming imposter syndrome and not letting it get you down and moving forward is recognizing when it happens, right? Key to everything in life is to recognize the signs in the symptoms and acknowledge them when they happen. So if you are having a persistent belief that your achievements are the result of luck or other external factors, rather than your own abilities and efforts. Those are the times that you're having imposter syndrome. When you find yourself dismissing your accomplishments, or you're living in fear of being exposed as a fraud. Maybe you're worried that you're going to lose your job because you don't think the work that you're doing is adequate, even though there's so much evidence to the contrary. What happens is this internal struggle can lead to diminished self-esteem. Some anxiety is going to flare up and a reluctance to take on new challenges. So if this is you, listen up.

Let's walk through some steps that you can take tomorrow, maybe even today. If you have the energy to get started on squashing this imposter syndrome. First of all, I'd like to acknowledge that imposter syndrome is not making you humble. It's actually making you discount the hard work and talent that got you where you are. If you're a perfectionist, this tends to flare up the most. If you setting unrealistic standards and constantly striving for lawlessness might even find yourself stopping before you start because of this fear of failure, and you're most likely overworking despite that, because of the constant stopping and getting blocked. All right, so let's get into it. When you hear that self-doubt flaring up and you're hearing imposter syndrome creep into your internal thought patterns, it's time to reframe those negative thoughts and beliefs. The first thing to do is challenge yourself. Challenge that self-critic, that negative nelly that's flaring up for you, and we need to replace it with positive and affirming statements. Yes, this will feel very strange awkward, but trust me when I tell you it works. Reframing that narrative is the first step to moving through these thoughts. For example, instead of thinking, I don't deserve this promotion. Reframe it as I have worked hard and deserve this recognition. Regularly practice positive affirmations to reinforce the self-belief and counteract your imposter syndrome and negative impact. What are some positive, affirming statements that you can start tomorrow? By the way, it really helps to talk this out with someone else. I find this all the time with my clients as they start telling me about their thoughts of imposter syndrome. They typically also say, I know it's ridiculous. I know it's silly. And they start to reframe the narrative just by getting those thoughts out of their head and into their mouths, and then telling someone else. Because as they tell someone else, all of a sudden logic and reality start to set in a little bit more. So finding someone that you can talk to about this can be critical to helping you overcome and move through it and help you reframe that narrative. Also getting reflection from others.

Now, the next step is to engage in self-reflection that allows you to gain a deeper understanding of your strengths, achievements, and areas of growth. So take that time to acknowledge your accomplishments. Write them down. Document them. Do you have an atta-girl file? Do you have a high-five file? Do you have something where you place these words of affirmation that you get from colleagues, where you document your achievements? Are you keeping your resume updated periodically, maybe every quarter, going in and writing down the achievements of the past quarter that you accomplished? Just the act of acknowledging your own accomplishments can reinforce the new narrative. The parts of the brain that reiterate that you are qualified. Embrace your self-acceptance by acknowledging that no one is perfect. Making mistakes is a natural part of growth. Treat yourself with compassion and kindness just as you would a friend or loved one. How would you talk to a friend that was overcoming this? What kind of dialogue would that sound like? So when you're feeling isolated, do find a friend. Find a mentor. Find a coach. Find someone that can help you not face this alone so it doesn't continue to stew and become greater than it already is. Share your feelings of self-doubt. Talking about it can help gain a fresh perspective. It also can help you realize that you're not alone. Many other people experience similar struggles. Finding therapy or coaching can also help you explore deeper rooted beliefs that you might not be realizing is where the imposter syndrome is coming from, and then you can develop those strategies for overcoming those deep rooted beliefs. Again, acknowledging where it's coming from, acknowledging that it's happening. That's the first step to I'll call it recovery, imposter syndrome recovery.

Now, I mentioned already acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, also your successes, no matter how small they might seem. Even when you catch yourself reframing the imposter syndrome narrative. In creating new positive thoughts when the negatives creep in. That's a success. That's a small step. So now, no matter how small it is, celebrate that success. Recognize that your achievements are the result of your efforts, your skills, your perseverance, your tenacity. Equally important is learning from failures and setbacks. We all have them. Instead of viewing them as confirmations of your impostor syndrome, reframe them as opportunities for growth and learning. Take those risks. Don't be afraid. Embrace the failure as a natural part of the journey towards success. Use it as a chance to develop. Develop your resilience and new strategies. The best athletes out there, the ones that also deal with imposter syndrome, have failed the most. Think about that. They have not succeeded the most. Necessarily. They failed more. It takes so many failures to get to those successes, the differences, people that have that athlete mindset and the people that make it are the ones that don't let those failures hold them back. They learn. They iterate. They continue to move forward. People around you are not necessarily more brilliant than you. They're not more worthy than you. What might be setting them apart from you when you compare is that they take action. So don't let that impostor syndrome set you back. Keep moving through it. I know it's uncomfortable. It can be gut-wrenching. You can feel it in your body. Reframe the narrative. Talk it out. Get support. Celebrate your successes, even the small ones. Track your achievements and continue to push yourself forward. Because you're brilliant, you're brave and you're beautiful, and you deserve this.

Next step is to set realistic goals and break them down. Like every life coach will tell you, it's all about moving forward into the future and having those goals. So as you are reframing your narrative, you're creating a mindset that's going to continue to push you forward. Now you have action items that you'll realistically be able to complete. So set those Smart goals, align them with your aspirations, and break them down into actionable steps. As you celebrate each of these milestones that you achieve along the way, it reinforces your belief in your abilities. This helps boost your confidence. One of the goals can be embracing continuous learning. Learning is a lifelong journey. No one has all the answers, so embrace those opportunities to continue to learn and skill develop. This can also build your confidence. Things like workshops, taking courses, reading books, seeking mentorship. Just make sure that it aligns to your goals. But I don't want you to do is go out there, take a bunch of courses, and then feel like more of an imposter because you haven't actually taken action to achieve those goals. So, find relevant, actionable courses that you will complete and feel good about. Make sure, by the way, that you're using the professional development money that your business most likely has allotted for you. Don't let that expire.

Now, let’s talk about finding people that can help talk through this. In addition to that intimate conversation about your doubts and your negative self-talk, surrounding yourself with a support network of like-minded women will also help you overcome imposter syndrome. When we have those relationships with individuals who lift us up and encourage us, that really helps boost our confidence, doesn't it? They can also provide guidance, offer constructive feedback, celebrate your achievements with you. So, it's so important. Community helps combat self-doubt and reinforces your belief in your capabilities.

And this should go without saying, but the last tip today is to practice self-care. Self-care is vital for maintaining mental and emotional well-being. Make sure you choose activities that nurture and rejuvenate you. Every woman is different with what this looks like for you, but it can include things like exercise, mindfulness practices, meditation, hobbies, spending time with loved ones, engaging in activities that bring you joy, volunteering, hiking, camping, being with your animals, family members. Maybe it's game night. Do those things that rejuvenate you and unplug. This helps build resilience and strength, and it helps your ability to overcome imposter syndrome when we're not dwelling in those thoughts. So what do I know about imposter syndrome?

Let me tell you a story about myself and imposter syndrome. It started really young for me, especially right out of the gate of college. Prior to that, there is all sorts of small moments, right? Anyone that was a teenager working, being a babysitter, feeling imposter syndrome, they're going to kill these children. Why do they think I'm qualified? How can I look after them, etc. etc.. As an athlete, getting awards, getting scholarships. So those were things that happened prior to going into my real career journey, which started right around college. And when imposter syndrome comes in, there's always a reason, right? There's something that happens that feeds into those negative thoughts. When I had my first role out of college, I tried to negotiate my salary and I felt like I'm I'm worth it. I can make more money than this. This is a really low salary. Tried to negotiate. I was working for a company that was true old boys club, and the HR manager was a woman only a couple of years my senior. She came back and had to deny me any kind of increase, said this is our final and best offer. So I accepted the job. A few months into that role, she and I became friends and we went to lunch one day and she said, Lisa, I just have to tell you about when you negotiated and I tried to get you higher salary. The response from upper management was no, because she's a woman. He literally told her that. Now, let me tell you, that created doubts. I created doubts on my worth. It was very frustrating and thank goodness I'm so incredibly stubborn. The next role I negotiated out of that place to get to more money in my next role. And then that company came back and even tried to keep me and increase my salary at that point when I was leaving. So that reinforced my confidence. But it's a ping pong, isn't it? It goes back and forth. Throughout my career, I've had opportunities where I was looking at a promotion and for whatever reason, I didn't feel like it was the right time, so I wasn't going to go for the promotion. I felt that imposter syndrome creeping in, or it was that my peers were trying to get someone else promoted. And so that was another example of a time where it was reinforcing those negative thoughts.

So what I do is I go back and I look at the data, the facts and the figures, and I tell myself why I am qualified, why I can do it. I also look to models and examples of people younger or people similar situations to me and how they did it and what was different about them. And it always boils down to mindset, and they took action. 1s So let me tell you from firsthand experience these tips work and I really hope they work for you. Just put them into practice. Don't delay. Start today or tomorrow depending on when you're listening to this.

All right, ladies. I know that you've got this. And I can't wait to see you and hear from you. So please drop me a line, drop me a comment, send me a message, and let me know if any of this has helped you. And what is the first step that you're going to take tomorrow to help you overcome imposter syndrome? Do you remember what it was? Go back to the beginning of the podcast and listen again. So have a beautiful day, a wonderful week, and I'll see you soon or you'll hear from me soon. Okay? Talk soon.