Lisa Virtue:

Okay. Heather, it's so nice to have you here. I love that we connected around healthcare, really, and what our bodies tell us when it comes to our daily life and our workplace. So I would love to hear a little bit more about your journey and as it relates to your career, but also that intersection of health and career. So go ahead and introduce yourself to the audience and let us know how you got here.

Heather Gray:

Absolutely. Thanks for having me. This is going to be so much fun. Buckle up. So I usually start any talk with the beginning, right? I was basically born full of shit, like how many people can relate to being constipated at an early age? And that was kind of the beginning point of let's throw band aids on symptoms, let's give her thick, nasty oils and give her stool softeners. But nobody was trying to figure out why this four year old was constipated. Hindsight's 2020. My uncle committed suicide that year.

There was a lot of early childhood trauma, and that basically set up my health issues for the rest of my life. Being raised by addicts, alcoholics, a lot of stress in the home really did make me the perfect host. So then between a standard american diet, a lot of early childhood trauma, I had a leaky gut, I had a leaky brain. By the time I was 13 and got bit by a tick, I was. I was the perfect host, right? Not everybody that gets bit by a tick, you know, gets Lyme disease, but there are certain people that are a little bit more susceptible to it, right, depending on how well your immune system is doing, how well your gut is doing. So hindsight, oh, you know, so two years later after that, that's when I finally first developed my first come kind of symptoms of Lyme, and I was through a suicide attempt of my own when I was 15. And again, doctors not trying to figure out or dig deeper, like, if the mental health community knew more about the connection of inflammation from viruses, bacteria and things like that, instead of just looking at as a neuro, you know, oh, my gosh, I can't believe I'm forgetting words lately because I'm having some sleep issues and I'm back being a little brain inflamed. So it's not just neurotransmitter deficiencies they're finding out with mental health issues.

And if that mental health person knew that back when I was 15. What a difference. My life. What a different directory my life would have taken, right? You know, so band aids, antipsychotics, antidepressants, mood stabilizers, patted me on the head, sent me out the door. You know, long story short, it took me 27 years total before I finally got a Lyme disease diagnosis. The CDC itself just recognized a year ago as chronic Lyme disease, a real disease. So the disease that I've had for over 30 years finally just got recognized. I shit you not.

I feel like if you want to really look up the word gaslighting in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of a Lyme patient. Right. My. Basically, my whole life, I had been gaslit. I think women in general have a tendency to get gaslit by the health community a heck of a lot more. That's a whole other topic, but that's kind of me in a nutshell. Well, so, basically, I went the traditional route in the beginning, which was horrible. They were throwing napalm at a body that hadn't been working properly for decades.

I thought I was going to die. I was a hairstylist at the time. I didn't have a medical background, but when I heard Reed Davis, the founder of FDN, on a podcast, speaking on how you have to, you know, heal your gut and make sure your hormones are balanced and make sure your detox pathways are open, you know, all the functional medicine ways. Intuitively, I was like, that's it. That's what I need. And I wanted out of the hair styling field to begin with. That was never my field. You know, I was good at it, and I liked it, but it didn't light me up.

And so I was kind of looking for a way out and looking for, you know, better health. So it was like, twofold. So when you go through the program, you actually do a couple labs on yourself to, you know, uncover, you become your first client. And that's what started me on the path in alternative health and then also started beyond my health journey.

Lisa Virtue:

Wow. Amazing. So one thing you said that, yes, is a completely different, not different, but additional topic is women's health care. But that is why we're here, right? We're talking primarily about women and how they can thrive not just at work, but in life and vice versa. And that intersection between work and life is so important because it affect, both affect each other. And as much as we want to separate and stop life when we go to work and stop work when we go to life, that's just not reality. So our health absolutely matters. Thank you so much for sharing.

I cannot believe that Lyme disease was only a year ago that it was official. Wow.

Heather Gray:

And they're actually starting to backpedal on their wording on their website. So it's been very heartbreaking for Lyme people because last year, we were like, finally validation. We're being seen. And then now they're kind of taking it back a little bit, and we're like, wow.

Lisa Virtue:

Yeah, I bet. That is insane.

Heather Gray:

Never been a big fan of the CDC to begin with. Just, you know, I'm just not a fan of things that are kind of, you know, like the food pyramid and, you know, traditional western medicine. Like, it has its place. Like, if you get in a car accident, there's nobody that can put you back better than our western med folks. But when it comes to prevention and chronic illness, like, we are the sickest, one of the sickest countries in the nation, and we spend the most money on healthcare. Like, wrap your brain around that, people.

Lisa Virtue:

Yep, absolutely. In my own personal health journey, how many times have I said, this just doesn't feel right? Or this is. I don't think we should do that, or, I'm not sure about this. And poor doctors on one level, poor doctors, because they also have to go by a certain code, and they're like, well, here's the ones that will actually explain that. I really appreciate. Here's why I'm doing it this way, or why I can't do that. Because the research. It's because of big pharma research and money, and where are they doing the research? So I'm right there with you.

That it's really an individual journey and looking at the masses for certain things. For sure, it's black and white, but for so many of them, especially with.

Heather Gray:

Lyme disease, they say that men will get a diagnosis 75% faster. What, women will? Yes. And that's part. Yeah.

Lisa Virtue:

Why am I shocked?

Heather Gray:

No. It's absolutely horrific on how many more women are because it's hormones or it's had a baby or it's, you know, we get really dismissed and always lumped into these women, you know, issues, type of things, that they don't have a tendency to dig deeper, to work for some reason, they will take a man more seriously, and he will get a diagnosis faster.

Lisa Virtue:

Fascinating. And then us women push our men to get to the doctor.

Heather Gray:

I know, right? We were just there this morning having our blood drawn, and I'm dragging him with me. I'm like, come on.

Lisa Virtue:

Yes. But then when it comes to our own it's like, oh, yeah, I'll do that eventually. I'll get there eventually. Yeah. So let's. Let's talk a little bit about this brain fog, because this is one thing we were talking about that can happen. It happened to me personally. I was in a very toxic work environment.

I'm always very ambitious, working my way up. Had a baby. All these things in life were changing, hormonally changing. But then I would get an illness. Like, I got my first bout of vertigo, and I had a promotion and had a young child at home, and I was like, what the hell is this? I didn't drink any alcohol. You know, you wake up and you're dizzy and you can't walk straight, and things like that just come out of the blue sometimes where our body's like, nopes, stop, get down, something's wrong. And then there's just this kind of lingering. Those are like those big, impactful moments of, I need to check myself, what's happening? But then there's that.

There's other moments where we just kind of can't focus. Or, like you're saying earlier, we can't find the words. That definitely happens to me. Or I'm just all of a sudden tired in the afternoon when I used to be able to go, go, go. So what are some of the tips and things you have when you. You talk to women that are in this place? They're like, just, these things are happening. What should they be looking for? What steps should they take?

Heather Gray:

Absolutely. It's one of my favorite expressions, you know, is no matter how common a symptom may be, it is never normal. It is always your body's check engine light coming on, saying, dummy, there's something going on in here. You need to figure it out. But all too often, we put everybody else's needs before our own. We've been dismissed for so long that we've forgotten to listen to our own intuition, right? That it's. It's. It's horrible what's happened to women.

And that's part of the reason that I'm such an advocate. I'm screaming, you know, don't deal with the, you know, so I'm a little tired in the afternoon. So is everybody else. I just need a cup of coffee. No, that's not normal. Or, oh, I'm just a little forgetful. I've got mommy brain, right? We even come up with cute little terms, mommy brain. No, that's not normal.

Right? Don't. Don't accept anything less than optimal performance as normal, because we are well tuned, amazing biological machines. Right? So when it comes to the brain fog, that's some of the scariest crap that I've had to deal with. When you can actually see some of the mistakes that you've made cognitively and go, oh, crap. Yes, right? And that's been my biggest area of work because it is. It's, you know, back when I started this journey, I was, you know, mid thirties. And to see your brain slipping in your mid thirties, and then nowadays, it's actually a lot more common. And dementia and Alzheimer is getting diagnosed at a younger age.

And they're actually saying that those processes start 510, 15 years before you actually start to get symptoms. So, like I said, those little things are wake up calls, right? They're not something to be dismissed or grab something over the counter if you accidentally put your keys in the. In the refrigerator or, you know, you can't remember your friend's, you know, phone number. Who can remember phone numbers anymore? That was a bad example. I'm like, who can remember phone numbers? But you know what I mean? Like, if you can't honestly remember what you had for dinner last night, you know, chicken, Brussels sprouts, uh, with a side of, um, it was a sweet potato. You know, if that stuff like that doesn't come to you, if you find yourself stuttering or missing words or, you know, um, making little simple mistakes in your checkbook, you know, type of things, like stuff that's just not typically you. Those are all signs that something is slipping, you know, and it can be. It can be anything from stress.

So stress has many buckets, right? When we think of stress, we think of, like, work stress. Like, ah, my boss is a dick, and I hate what I do, or, you know, that. Or I've got more responsibilities.

Lisa Virtue:

Yeah, we like to blame everyone else for sure.

Heather Gray:

Exactly, exactly.

Lisa Virtue:

Yeah.

Heather Gray:

But stress can also be chemicals. I was a hairstylist for 15 years. Working in that toxic chemical environment was a stress on my body. It could be not getting enough sleep at night. It can be alcohol. It can be viruses or bacteria. It can be anything that causes a burden on the body, right? And, uh, it causes that inflammation. And we've heard a lot of people these days have talked about a leaky gut.

Well, if you've got a leaky gut, there's such a big gut brain connection, you've also got a leaky brain. And so a lot of food can cause this inflammation and can cause this brain fog. So really working with somebody who can dive deep and not dismiss you and look at all the places of stress that you need to uncover to find out where your source of forgetfulness brain cognition issues are coming from. Because, you know, it usually is a combination. It's usually not just one thing. It's like. It's like you've been cooking with aluminum and using aluminum deodorant for 15 years, and then you get that promotion, which is a little stressful, but that's the straw that tipped the can, you know? Tipped the mixing metaphors. Yeah, this type of thing, because I'm a perfect example right now.

I just got diagnosed with sleep apnea. I found out I have a deviated septum, and I literally am, like, getting no oxygen in one nostril at night. So my oxygen, that'll affect a lot. 84%. Like, it's legit brain damage. Um, so I'm. I'm actively working on that, but in the meanwhile, I still have to, um. I still have to be here, right? I still have to.

Lisa Virtue:

You're showing up. Thank you.

Heather Gray:

I'm showing up. But, yeah, I might just be forgetting. I love that one meme. They're like, people with brain fog have to get real creative with their words. Like, look, a vibrating, vibrating midget bird, you know, for coming bird. Yeah, it is creative sometimes of like, uh, but, yeah. So just saying that you've got it, you gotta dig deeper. And it's usually a combination of multiple things.

It's never usually just one thing and to look at the whole picture, because, unfortunately, if you're not looking at the whole picture, there's obviously, there's gonna be pieces that you miss, and you're gonna end up having to come back and kind of start all over again or, you know, it takes more time, more money. So I'm a big fan of someone who'll take a whole look and I'll just throw band aids at symptoms.

Lisa Virtue:

Yeah, absolutely. 100% agree. And I've definitely been there where it was. Oh, I've got a gluten and dairy allergy and sensitivity, and so I'm going to avoid that. And then I felt great, and then there was more stress, and then I'm like, wait a minute. Why? My migraines are back or my skin is not clear what. Okay. That used to be because of those foods.

Now what's. You know, so if you do it isolated, I can. It's not sustainable. Absolutely. Yeah, I've been there. Okay, awesome. So as far as when it comes to the stress part, um, when we're at work and women are thinking about, okay, how do I move through this day in a way that can help maybe just alleviate the symptoms, either before they can find a practitioner that they will be able to do this comprehensive work with, or even while they're working with them. Do you have tips, tricks, things that.

Heather Gray:

I was just going to say, I'm like, oh, you want tips and tricks? Yeah, absolutely. You know, some of this work is, some of my favorite is work to do. One, because it's typically free, two, it's easy, and three, it doesn't take much time, but you have to, you have to start building these muscles when you're not in stress. So that way, when stress happens, you can remember to use them. So somatic experiencing work, I like to do. I like to do one that's combined. I learned this from doctor Amy Apigian. She makes the biology of trauma summit friggin amazing.

But she's where I learned this one. It's called a vu and a push away. And so, first off, the vu is like a chant vu, and it stimulates that vagus nerve, which is part of that fight or flight. It almost touches all areas in our body. And so if we're stuck in fight or flight all the time, our vagus nerve is dysregulated. And so the vu, chanting, ohms, you know, humming, singing, gargling, all these things kind of help stimulate the vagus nerve. The push away also helps. A lot of us that have had chronic sicknesses also have a tendency.

Women especially, have a tendency to be a little on the empathic side. We have a tendency to take on other people's energy. And my bubble has a tendency sometimes just to be right here. So that way everybody's bad behavior feels like a massive insult. Also could be an Aries thing.

Lisa Virtue:

Oh, yes.

Heather Gray:

I'm like, could also be an Aries thing. Now that I'm talking about it, my birthday is two days away. Anywho, the push away I love, because it literally opens up space in my own energetic bubble and allows me to breathe again. Right. Which then gives you the option, do I need to respond to that? Karen across the street, who's, you know, giving me side eye, or, you know what I mean? It gives you a little bit more discernment. It gives you a little bit more reaction time. So you put them both together. So literally.

Join me, Miss Lisa.

Lisa Virtue:

Okay, so we're putting our. Let's tell anyone that's not watching.

Heather Gray:

Yeah. Put our hands up next to our shoulders, and we're going to act like we're going to push away a boulder. And I'm not kidding. I want you to really engage, push hard, and, and go slow. The slower the better. And at the same time, we're going to take a deep breath. In and out. Go vu at the same time.

So, ready? In through the nose, out. Like, you might see my arm shaking because that's how hard I'm engaging. And then you can take another deep breath and you can do that out to the side. You can do it at the top and then at the bottom.

Lisa Virtue:

Oh, I'm going to add this for my candidates that are going up for interviews. For an interview.

Heather Gray:

Oh, there you go. Absolutely.

Lisa Virtue:

Really great power pose.

Heather Gray:

Yeah, absolutely. I can. And every single time I do that, like, I immediately my nervous system go, oh, yeah.

Lisa Virtue:

And your spine?

Heather Gray:

I'm good. I'm calm. It's all good. Um, let's see, let's see, let's see. I see. Ooh. Another favorite of one of mine is called a hug, a self hug. How many people I.

Sadly, this is a man thing. Men have lack of physical touch more than women. Women is. Women are more tendency to be touchy feely. Men, sadly, aren't, and they are deeply lacking touch. And so sometimes, I hate to say it, this really can help play with it. You're going to have, you're going to cross your arms over your, your chest and play with it. See if the right hand on the left chest, left shoulder feels better or vice versa, to see which arm is on top, because one of them typically does.

But this is part of learning how to tune in with your body. So this one feels better to me. And then once you've got that spot, lay your head down on your shoulder and close your eyes.

Lisa Virtue:

So we're doing our personal hug, and then we're laying our head down on our shoulder and hand.

Heather Gray:

You might start to notice that your body, like, naturally starts rocking back and forth. Just let it do that. You know, take a couple deep breaths here. But, you know, I'm going to cut it short, which sucks, because doesn't that feel yummy?

Lisa Virtue:

It does. It's like when I cuddle my daughter, it's like the same feeling for myself.

Heather Gray:

Right, exactly. Exactly. So when we're in that stress or if we're needing to calm down, you know, the last one would be a shake. If you notice animals in the wild, they'll get into a kerfuffle and then they'll shake, and then they go back to eating, or they'll go back to swimming, or they'll go back to do whatever they want, because they don't keep that energy stuck in their body. So many people think it's a bad thing, they'll come up to me and they're like, look, I'm shaking. I'm like, good, continue to let yourself shake. Don't stop that. But you can actually artificially manifest that.

So say you get into a blow with hubby, right? Things are heated, you're angry. If you don't want to carry that around with you the rest of the night, as soon as you guys get done, you know, shake it out and vigorously like, there's some good, you know, Taylor Swift. Shake it off like shit. You got. There's some. There's true. Yeah, there's some wisdom there with the taste wisdom. So, yeah, I love it.

Those are kind of just three little easy things that you can do, but, like I said, like, practicing the voo and the push away and, like, the self hug and getting into a habit of doing that multiple times a day. I have my folks do that usually three times a day before they eat. Because if we can get you into rest and digest.

Lisa Virtue:

Right.

Heather Gray:

And out of fight or flight, so many people, especially women, are having so many issues with the digestion. One, because they're not taking the time to mindfully eat. Yeah, they're eating on the run. They're eating and working in front of their computer. Eating is a skill. Digestion is a skill. Same thing with sleep. And we've kind of hijacked it and thought that we could somehow get away with these things that aren't really natural, but we can't.

We really can't. You need to slow down. Our eyes need to be engaged with our food, because that's where our saliva starts kicking in and also then gets our digestive acids going. There's a. There's a sequence that needs to happen. And when you're sitting in front of a computer and trying to eat, you know, are driving, like you're missing things, and then your guts, like, ah, wait, I wasn't ready for food. Yeah, right.

Lisa Virtue:

That's a very good point. So, from a practical standpoint, I think one thing to the audience to think about is when to do this, where to do it. I love the idea of when you go to the bathroom stall instead of checking your social media at work because you're on a break and you're in the bathroom and you feel like you can give yourself a hug. Push the boulder. Breathe. Yeah. So put down that device and think about your body, the body mind connection I wholeheartedly agree with you. Amazing.

Awesome. Okay, so, as we wrap up, anything else that has come up for you, Heather, today that you want to make sure the listeners hear?

Heather Gray:

No. You know, just. I cover it basically when I say, you know, no matter how common a symptom, maybe it is never normal. You know, stop reaching for over the counter stuff. Stop putting yourself on the back burner, you know? And it's amazing when we start feeling so many cliches, but they only become cliches because they work, because it's true. You got to start putting your own mask on first. You can't pour from an empty cup. Like all these things that we've been taught to do as women, especially, you know, kids come first.

Work comes first. Everything else comes first. Start putting yourself first, and it's amazing how much better everything else in your life flows. Like, trust me, your family will thank you, your coworkers will thank you. Everything gets exponentially better when this is your life, right? Put yourself first.

Lisa Virtue:

Love it. All right. Amazing. So, Heather, how can people get ahold of you everywhere?

Heather Gray:

The Lyme boss. And that's l y m e, like Lyme disease, not like we're making margaritas. So, yeah, make sure to go check that out. Right. You know, I've got a podcast as well. I've got some of the top health experts on there. So whether it's from headaches to weight gain to psychedelics, you know, check that out. Or I've got a free cooking series on my website, you know, because so many people, when I say, you need to start cooking, and they look at me like a deer in the headlights, like, I teach you 20 minutes or less how to make these healthy, delicious, amazing meals that your body and your mind are going to love.

Lisa Virtue:

Love it. Lineboss.com dot thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate your energy and the fact that you illustrated brain fog was beautiful and that everything ties back to our physical health, really. And that brain gut connection. Brain mind connection or mind body connection. That's what I was trying to say. Uh oh. Here.

Heather Gray:

It's contagious.

Lisa Virtue:

Yeah. Awesome. So thank you so much, and we'll find you at lymeboss.com

Heather Gray:

Sounds great. Thank you.