Lisa Virtue:

Hi, Tanya.

Tanya Monuma:

Hi, Lisa. Thanks so much for having me.

Lisa Virtue:

Oh, thank you for being here. I love it when I get to talk to you and sit down and have these conversations and share your wonderful wisdom. So we're going to get right into it because we were just chatting before I hit record, and I'm so curious to hear about your career, what's going on with you, how you got to where you are now. And I know the listeners will appreciate all of that. So why don't you just start by telling us a little bit about you and more about your career journey.

Tanya Monuma:

Sure. So thank you for that. And I grew up in a hard working, multicultural community that allowed me to experience the world through the lens of many different perspectives. And I believe it allowed me to be very understanding of the different struggles people have from all walks of life. I've always been a bit of an introvert, and I was actually pretty shy growing up, but started playing basketball when I was in elementary school and that kind of got me out of my shell. So for anybody listening, if you've ever played a sport, a team sport, you know how many different personalities come out of one single group of people?

Lisa Virtue:

Yeah.

Tanya Monuma:

So I played for many years and ended my career at Concordia University, where I played and where also graduated in a degree, with a degree, I should say, in psychology. I then joined the workforce, got married, and I have three beautiful children. All of those life experience, and I know this goes for everyone, all of your listeners, all of that prepped me for the life I'm now living. After over 20 years within the hospital system, I decided to quit my job and focus more on what I call my purpose work. So that's always kind of like a jolt when people hear, she quit her job after 20 years, like security and everything, you know, it's kind of like a shock. But one of the catalysts of me quitting my job was that I was so fed up of that feeling of rushing all the time, of being aggravated, of sort of being short fused and just living like a robot, basically. So I knew there was another way. But it's so scary to think of what it really means to break free from the social norms and make a bold decision like that.

So I always had a bit of entrepreneurial bone in me. I dabbled in a couple of mlms, those multilevel marketing. Then I ended up taking a course to become a meditation coach. And it was at that point and around the same time that I decided to quit my job and pivot into the unknown. Right. So since then, I founded Xenia coaching. I have a podcast, and that comes from my desire to hold space for high performing, busy women looking to awaken their fullest capacity for inner peace. So my unique approach to personal growth and resilience comes with a combination of ancient truths, universal laws, scientifically backed principles, and the person's unique inner intelligence to allow.

To allow them to grow in the most optimal way. So I offer group coaching, online coaching, online courses, and wellness retreats that have become so great to guide people towards a life of wellness.

Lisa Virtue:

Beautiful. I would love to do your wellness retreat. If you ever do an overnight, please let me know. I'll come visit you.

Tanya Monuma:

Absolutely. I plan on. I don't want to stop because I've just had a couple. I'm still in the beginning stages. I'm still learning as I go with the people that I coach, you know? And so, yes, there will be more. I don't want to lose momentum, you know, probably be one this summer, and every season I intend to have. Have one as well.

Lisa Virtue:

That's beautiful. So we're talking a little bit. Well, you just mentioned actually something I wanted to bring up, which was athletics, because as a woman, that also came from a background of low income and a lot of, we'll just call it toxic environment at home, and mental health challenges with parents, et cetera. Athletics was such an escape for me, and such an empowering thing as a young girl, I think, to have at my fingertips. So did you have a similar experience?

Tanya Monuma:

Yes, absolutely. I think especially when you talk about groups, I think that's why I have an affinity towards women and leading or serving groups of women, because once you're in a team sport, it's all about the things that you can learn together and. Yeah, I totally agree. Yeah.

Lisa Virtue:

Yeah. And navigating, like, there's going to be hard days with your friends, and that's okay, and you'll bounce back and be back as a team, you know? That's right. Yeah. I just think that sports can really help young girls, and we're talking about team sports. I actually was an individual swimmer, loved relays, and then I ended up pivoting into water polo, which was a team sport, and that was when I found my jam. So I know some people don't like the team sport. They'd rather do the individual athletics. But you still always have some kind of team around you right within that space, even if it's not a team, per se.

But I can resonate with that, for sure. I think that's a lot of my background helps with my coaching now is I also ended up coaching water polo and coaching swimming. And then it led to this career coaching journey. And so many principles are so similar when it comes to mindset and putting action in with the athletics world versus career.

Tanya Monuma:

Yeah, I think that that's why we resonate so well with each other, too, because I also coached for many years. Once I played, once you play, you kind of got that bug. Right. You know, what it does for you to move your body physically and get that sweat out and then to be in a group of people and then to be able to then transfer your knowledge to somebody else, it's just a great way of transitioning from one step to the next and to transfer. Those are transferable skills that you then have into your career, which is great.

Lisa Virtue:

Yeah. And a lot of our listeners, they get to that point of they want to mentor more. Maybe they're new to leadership or changing into a leadership role that is very similar in nature. So thinking about, okay, I haven't led before. Have you not led before? Because I bet there's something in your background and in your bones that you have done that, whether it's personal athletics at school, most likely very natural progression of humanity is putting that mentorship hat on. So that's, I think, love your journey and what you're sharing, because I think that can resonate with so many people and you can make a career of that in the long run if that is something that you desire to do. Although we also know entrepreneurship is not for everyone.

Tanya Monuma:

Absolutely. Yeah, you're right. And I think it's so important to. You said something, so it was so well put to be able to see what you can transfer into. Something else that you're going into is extremely important. You know, we all have transferable skills. We just don't see it right away. But, yeah, like you say, not everybody's an entrepreneur, but you definitely have skills that you can transfer into whatever you do.

Lisa Virtue:

Yeah. And gone are the days where you're going to be in the same job for 20 years. Maybe there's a few people out there. I doubt anyone listening to this podcast is thinking, I'm going to sit this desk and do the same routine task for the next 20 years. So people do want to learn and grow, and that's what we're talking about is possible. There are people like Tanya, beautiful example. It's so possible. So, Tanya, tell us a little bit more about pivoting and what that looks like.

And our subject today is about perseverance. When you are pivoting when you're in that transition, you know, it's not a straight shot. It's not really easy to do that for anybody. So what does that look like for you and your experience?

Tanya Monuma:

Yeah, so we were talking about this a little bit right before I got on camera, but I want to be totally transparent as well. You sometimes can't just jump into the unknown without taking somewhat of a calculated risk. So I still go into the office, but it's part time now and in a completely different context and role that I had before. So it's about making those moves that are going to serve you and your family. I believe we're facing an overwhelming number of people who are just suffering from burnout and anxiety. And so it's important to not add to that anxiety. You have to pivot in a way that is right for you. So for me, it made sense to go part time because my husband was also able to, to support me in that way.

And so it's just important to understand that the pivoting is not always as smooth as you may think or as easy, but you can find ways to do it in a way that's going to serve you and not drive you nuts, if that makes sense.

Lisa Virtue:

And finding the cash flow, the adage of, you have to have a margin to have a mission. There has to be something supporting you in order for you to do your purpose driven, work. Driven work. And so I think that stops a lot of women from pursuing it is because they think, oh, well, I need this or that, whatever those resources are that their career is giving them, and even just to switch jobs or companies, it can be so daunting when they're thinking about that. So what kind of advice do you have when it comes to the coaching and the work that you do? When someone's in that place, they're trying to make a decision. What do I do next? What kinds of things do you work on with your clients?

Tanya Monuma:

Yeah. So I think it's really important for people to have some kind of routine where they go inward. So one of the things that I think will lead to perseverance is a consistent ritual in which you're going to sit down with yourself to get the answers right. So having a routine where you have gratitude is one thing I can say that would really help just anybody. And I think the word gratitude kind of gets spilt all over the place. I think that once we talk about gratitude, you almost have to remember a time in which you struggled or you were so deeply hurt, but you got over it. Once you've gotten over it, the amount of it might be gradual. You might not even notice it, but remember how it felt to be on the other side of the challenge.

And that's when you start really saying, wow, I'm so grateful. Like, for instance, in sports, I had injured my knee really bad. You don't realize how much you need your leg until you've lost it. Right. So in that moment of pain and in that moment of, I can't use both my legs and walk like a normal person, there's that feeling of, oh, my gosh, when am I going to walk again? And then we tend to forget how it felt when you were in pain and then you got through it. That moment of gratitude of having two legs to walk on is something that, you know, people have to hold on to. Remember the times of struggle, but also remember and feel it, feel the struggle, because there's something else on the other side of it. So that's what I don't know if I answered your question.

Lisa Virtue:

Oh, that's great. It's actually very timely because I tore my rotator cuff in my shoulder and my dominant right shoulder. And as a water polo player, paddle boarder, you know, someone that loves to swim, I can't do any of those things right now. So you're giving me hope.

Tanya Monuma:

Yes.

Lisa Virtue:

Yeah. And thinking back, you know, I've had other injuries, too, that prevented me from doing things, and I got through it. So that physical, like, visceral example is really powerful, because then if we start to think, okay, that's what that looks like just physically now, let me think about maybe at job. Okay, I was at a different job. I made it through, and I made a transition to that new job, and I remember getting over that or being able to make that leap. And so harnessing that and reminding our amygdala. Right. We're really trying to train it, that it's going to be okay.

We have a narrative. There's a story that does have hope to it versus what it's trying to do is just keep us safe. And so it's like, no, no, don't do anything. There's risk. There's risk. There's risk. But knowing that, yes. With risk, there's also reward.

Tanya Monuma:

Absolutely.

Lisa Virtue:

Trying to remember that.

Tanya Monuma:

Yeah.

Lisa Virtue:

And then the gratitude practice. Do you have any specific examples of what you've seen work really well for people as far as, like, a daily routine?

Tanya Monuma:

Yeah. So I'm always pursuing anything, personal growth. And I landed on Hal Elrod. I don't know if you've heard of him, but he is the author of Miracle Morning, and he summed up what I kind of preach in an acronym, and it's the Savers acronym, and I'm probably going to butcher this up. But in the morning, you start your day with silence. So whether that's prayer or meditation, whatever it is, then affirmation, then visualization. The e is for exercise. You move your body.

The r is for reading, because you can always learn something new from a book or from somebody who's gone through it before you. And savers, the last one is script because he didn't want to put a j for journaling. So if you apply those things in the morning, any kind of variation of it, it's a great way to start.

Lisa Virtue:

Love that it's such a good idea to do it in the morning. I know some, a lot of times I lean to the evening, too, which can also be powerful. But that morning time. Right. We keep hearing about it. All successful people. There's a morning routine behind it.

Tanya Monuma:

Yes, I'm very intentional also, or maybe not intentional, but I'm careful with how I present this, too, because I have a good friend of mine who joined my group program, and I was speaking about the importance of waking up early before everybody else and just taking that time for yourself. And she actually tried it. And I respect when people try something and it's just not for them. And for her, she does it in the evening, and it works phenomenally. So I think it's, it's nice to have a morning and evening routine. And even if in the morning, even if you're just in bed, kind of just find something to be grateful for is great. But if you can put that into your evening routine because you're more of an evening person, that's also great.

Lisa Virtue:

Yeah. This is what we do in my family, is that when we're having dinner, we talk about what each of us are grateful for from the day. And we've seen that with my eight year old daughter that it's really powerful for her to get the mindset going about, okay, even if I was having a tough day, there are moments that went really well. And what are those? And some days are tougher than others. Right. Where it's hard to find something. But you can even talk about the meal in front of you or people you're with. And so that's what we've started doing, too.

And it tends to be really impactful. And then when people come over and we're having a meal sometimes we'll do that with everyone, and they always have great things to say about it because it just kind of boosts the mood, too. Right. Like, lifts the spirit. Spirit of everybody.

Tanya Monuma:

Absolutely. And I love that you're doing it with the family. It's something that's so important already. There's that connection when you eat together. There's something about the heart kind of just connecting and having a moment of gratitude with the family. It's just a great example of great parenting.

Lisa Virtue:

Well, thank you. I'll take it when I can.

Tanya Monuma:

Yes, absolutely.

Lisa Virtue:

A lot of other moments that you don't feel great as a parent.

Tanya Monuma:

Oh, yeah, I know, I know. But receive it.

Lisa Virtue:

I'm receiving it. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. Yeah. And it's also just helped, I think it also frames my mindset as a parent, too. Right. It's not just about having her do it. It's like, oh, yeah.

It's about my practice as well. Yeah. Okay, so this word around perseverance. How do you define perseverance? Or what is your. What would. When you're talking to a client or you're talking on this podcast to help others wrap their head around, what does perseverance mean when it comes to your career?

Tanya Monuma:

Perseverance, to me, is that notion of not giving up, that notion of there's something at the other end of what you're doing. So think of it this way. If you stop what you're so deeply passionate about, think of it as the next day. Like, if you stop today, tomorrow might have been the day that everything turns around. So in order to get to that point of, wow, I've made it, I don't think we've ever really made it. There's always something more to strive for, but to persevere is to not give up. It sounds simple, but it really is not giving up, not hearing the naysayers, just going for what you know you're capable of.

Lisa Virtue:

So you mentioned one part of this method of maintaining perseverance is when you're hearing the negative energies, negative thoughts, those stories. Right. It's all storytelling, really, into our brain, not internalizing it.

Tanya Monuma:

That's right. That's right. You cannot internalize anything that anybody, because the people might be very well intentioned, but when you feel strongly about something and you know that there is. There is something at the other end of it, you have to tap into that intuition and go for it.

Lisa Virtue:

I say this a lot with women, too. Wherever I. Maybe it's family, friends, even partners, where there's always a bias, right. Coming from those places. And like you said, well intentioned, typically, but because they know us in a certain way, in a certain relationship, when it comes to, like, career or a big goal that we have that is separate from that relationship, it can be really difficult for one of those people to be unbiased and helping us maintain that perseverance. So, community, right. Finding people that can connect with you, that are unbiased, that can encourage you. They know what your goals are and they can keep helping you move forward.

Do you see that as well, that's so important?

Tanya Monuma:

Absolutely. Because most of the time when it's well intentioned people, they love you so much, they have that bit of fear for you. They don't know what the unknown is. And they figure that the way of, of the norm is the right way because, you know, it brings security, but you have to fall a few times in order to get up and continue. And that notion of falling, being bad, is something that, it's all mindset. We have to be able to see things in a way that's going to serve us. So there's no way you can live life without any challenges. So why not see challenge as something positive, not negative, you know? Or when somebody says it's a problem, okay, if that word means something that I can solve, then, yeah, it's a problem, but it's not something bad, you know? So once you have a community of people like you say, that have that same kind of mindset and are able to see things in a way that are progressive and not something that's like, it'll never get solved, then you've got something going for yourself.

Lisa Virtue:

So today, interesting. This is such good timing. I just saw Ryan Reynolds was talking about Michael J. Fox on social media, and he wrote something, I think, for Times magazine. I think that's correct. And he said, michael J. Fox is brilliant at falling because it shows how high he flies. And it was a play on his Parkinson's, but also his journey and his career.

And so it just was a beautiful sentiment the way he explained it and wrote it. And so exactly what you're talking about is in, you know, to learn how to fly, you gotta fall.

Tanya Monuma:

Absolutely. And Michael J. Fox really is the epitome of all of that because I think he came up with a documentary, too. And you can just see, despite him being in pain at times, he still pushes through and he doesn't see it as something that's bad. It's just something that he's living through. And he has to he has to go to the other end of it. Yeah.

Lisa Virtue:

Yeah. Talk about perseverance, right?

Tanya Monuma:

Yeah.

Lisa Virtue:

Physically, too. Yeah. I did watch his documentary. It was beautiful.

Tanya Monuma:

Oh, I didn't watch it yet, but I kept hearing about it. So I should.

Lisa Virtue:

For sure. Awesome. Anything else that you would like to explain to the listeners about how perseverance, gratitude in a pivot, what they should be thinking about? What other tips do you have, tanya?

Tanya Monuma:

Yeah, well, I think it's important for me to share what I think of the whole self love and care movement we've been hearing so much about these days, because I think it's a strong tie between that and perseverance. And I think that if we take it in the wrong way, we as a society may end up creating even more of a nation of people who are looking out for themselves and themselves only. So I've got to be intentional and careful with the way I put this, but I think there is a huge misconception going around, and this notion of self love is getting tossed around. And if it isn't grasped in the right way, people may end up not getting the picture. So this self love needs to be with the intention of healing the deepest parts of ourselves in order to be of service to. Yes, to ourselves and the ones we love and every single person we come across. So it becomes a ripple effect that transforms your life and the life of others. So self love becomes simply love.

And that's why it's so important to develop a self care and personal growth mindset routine that's going to kind of show that, you know.

Lisa Virtue:

Yeah. Glad you brought that up, because that happens a lot in career, too, especially with women in transition. Right. You're thinking, oh, this toxic work environment. Well, everything's me, me. I'm the victim. I'm the victim. And while that may be true, and it very well could be, in many cases where you are being victimized or there's something.

You're being harassed or something's going on. Majority of cases, there's a common theme around, okay, were you setting boundaries? Like, what is it that I can point the finger at myself? First think about, what is it that I can do and change, and then if you're still hitting those same issues. Okay, now, let's look externally very similar when it comes to self care. Right. Okay. I'm not fully. I'm not fully showing up for my family in the way that I want to and that they need from me. What is it that I'm not doing for myself in this moment?

Tanya Monuma:

Yeah.

Lisa Virtue:

Versus oh, I just need to go do a spa day. I need to do all these things away from my family because sometimes that might not actually be filling what you need. Right. Like what you're saying is, what is that deep inner work that we need to do that can help us fill our bucket so that it can overflow into others?

Tanya Monuma:

Exactly. And when you're doing that, it shows perseverance because it's a daily thing. It never ends. You're in it for the long run. When you're talking about mindset and growth and personal development, it's personal, but it's with the intention of it being for you and others. So we should change the word to something, something else. But yeah, it is personal because you have to heal within yourself in order to let that shine and have that ripple effect.

Lisa Virtue:

Yeah, I'm thinking of so many parallels at the workplace, like leaders that are going, oh, this team is just, this team sucks. Right. I don't like my team. I'm going to go to a different job. Different team. Okay, again, what is it that is maybe going on with you, too? Before you just decide to jump and transition, make sure you're doing that in a way that can be healing to yourself as well. And in the job search, when you're going up for roles. And it gets, I see this a lot with people that are not maybe looking at best practices or just have the right mindset about it.

When you go into an interview, it's about, what can you do for this company? What is the return on investing in you? It's not about, okay, what are your benefits? And are you going to give me all the things I want? And, you know, that's, that is you definitely should advocate for yourself and find the right fit. But that's not the time and place to do that when you're first meeting the team. Right. It's more about that. Okay, here's everything. I filled my bucket in my career. This is my experience that now still Bill's over, so I can support you and your team and let, let me learn how I can do that. And when you come at it from that way, it's received so much more beautifully, isn't it? And that applies personal life and career.

Tanya Monuma:

Yeah, absolutely. Once you start having compassion for yourself, you can see how other people also need it for themselves. And it's just, it's contagious. You start having compassion for everybody around you because, you know, and that makes for so much of a better leader than somebody who doesn't have compassion for themselves. And then because you don't have compassion for yourself, you don't have compassion for others. So it's just so important to take the time to go inward and heal.

Lisa Virtue:

Yeah, for sure. And not the surface stuff. That is the trend. Right? That's what we're talking about. There's a difference. Yeah. Between, like, just get your own time or do all these things for yourself, which can turn that knob of selfish, which we do need to be careful because there's a lot of women that just don't take care of themselves enough. And so I also like to remind people, like, it's not selfish to take care of yourself, but there's always a line, right? It's a spectrum.

And so it starts to veer into, I'm actually not feeling full and I'm not feeling compassion for others when I'm doing these things. Maybe that's not what you need.

Tanya Monuma:

Maybe you need to have some compassion for yourself. Yeah. That's when it doesn't become selfish at all. You need that time for yourself in order to refill. Like you said, fill up your cup so that you can be of service to the people you love and anybody who walks into your presence.

Lisa Virtue:

Yeah. And that's when the bounty comes. The magnetism effect. I love it.

Tanya Monuma:

Yeah.

Lisa Virtue:

Wonderful. Well, Tanya, how can people get ahold of you?

Tanya Monuma:

Yeah, so my favorite spot to be is Instagram. I need to be a bit more active, but any. Any messages you have to send would be through Instagram. I also have a free mini course, awakening inner peace so people can, you know, grab that mini course and. Yeah, you can take it from there.

Lisa Virtue:

Beautiful. We'll have all the links, of course, in the show notes. Thank you, Tanya, for your time and sharing. I love talking to you always. So I really appreciate you being here today.

Tanya Monuma:

Thank you. I appreciate you too.